During an intimate press conference held at 4:00 this morning, presidential candidate Barak Obama admitted to being related to Brad Pitt. He also confessed that he and many of the powerful figures in Washington DC are in fact shape-shifting reptilian aliens from the Draco system bent on the domination of the human race.
According to researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society, Barack Obama in a distant cousin of Brad Pitt, star of hit films such as Ocean’s Thirteen and Fight Club.
When asked about the possibility of a wedding between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Obama offered no new information, saying only that he knows they are happy together and Jolie is an excellent vessel for the continuation of the Illuminati bloodlines.
“Change shape?” Obama said when asked about Reptilian abilities. “Yes, we can.”
According to Obama, he, along with most members of Congress, 75% of White House officials including the President and Vice President, 7 out of 9 Supreme Court judges and every single lobbyist, is a seven foot tall creature with green scaly skin and the ability to control the minds of human beings. When asked to reveal his true visage, Obama refused, claiming he pull to much time in creating such a charming holographic illusion to simply throw it away. However, very few are related to Brad Pitt.
“In light of the rising popularity of journalists such as Alex Jones, David Icke and Alan Watt, it simply does not make sense for me to continue hiding my true nature. And I hope, with your help, I can become the first, openly Reptilian President of the united States,” Obama said.
When asked if he felt that this revelation would hurt his chances for the Presidency, Obama expects the connection to Pitt to only increase his standing with young people. As for the Reptilian confession, Obama pointed out that both Hilary Clinton and John McCain, his two main rivals, are both Reptilians and don’t bother hiding it most of the time.
Brad Pitt’s next film, Burn After Reading, will be released in September 2008.
